Forgive Past Hurts

It’s one of the most difficult principles of life to practice but it can also be one of the most rewarding.

FORGIVENESS

It’s one of the grandest gifts you can give to yourself because when you forgive, you are released from the heavy burden and resentment that you’ve been carrying that’s weighing you down.

You become lighter literally and things in your life begin to fall into place.

BUT – know this – it’s not about condoning the mistreatment or toxic behavior of individuals.

It is about allowing what they did to you – to not affect how you live your life now.

Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could have been any different.

It’s accepting the reality of what did happen and moving on.

But when you can rise up and just really meet that pain face to face and then let it flow through you, only then can you let it go and step out of the hurt of your history – and into the possibility of the present.

You can accept or reject the way you are treated by other people, but until you heal the wounds of your past you will continue to bleed.

You can bandage the bleeding but eventually, it’s going to ooze through and stain your life.

You must find the strength to open the wounds, stick your hands inside, pull out the core of the pain that is holding you in your past, the memories, and make peace with them.

Forgive others
Forgive yourself
Accept the now

That is the recipe to begin healing and give up the hope that the past could have been anything other than what it was.

Whatever happened helped to make you the person you are today.

Find the courage to let go of all your grudges because on the other side of forgiveness is freedom.

The freedom to live the life for which you were intended and the one you deserve.

Look at where you’ve come from, how far you’ve journeyed to get to the YOU that you are now – and you’re still adapting and evolving to an ever-better version of yourself.

Holding onto the past only weighs you down and prevents you from being who you’re meant to be right now because you’re still energetically holding on to the past.

The energy that you put into constantly rewinding to the resentment, “why did they do that, why did they say that to me, I didn’t deserve to be treated that way”.

All of that only keeps you stuck – it will never change what happened.

You must press stop and reject the urge to keep replaying so that you can then fast forward into the now for yourself.

A lot of people think that holding on to things that disempowered them is going to somehow turn it around magically.

You must give up the hope that the past could have been any different – it’s not an easy task, but ask you to ask yourself:

“Why am I holding on to this? how is this serving me?”

Then I ask you again ask yourself:

“Do you want to be right? or do you want peace?

Time is moving on and it’s our most valuable commodity, you can never get it back.

So, staying in that loop, playing it over and over in your head of hurt only amplifies your pain.

Let it go
Exhale

Make room in your heart for something that is uplifting and surround yourself with people who want the best for you.

You have the ability to lift your spirit and control how you perceive life – so why not lighten your load and let it go.

Knowing that when you know better you do better.

You are responsible for your life, and if you’re sitting around waiting on somebody to save you, fix you, you to even help you – you are wasting your time.

Because only you have the power to take responsibility and move your life forward.

It does not matter where you come from, what matters is now in this moment and your willingness to see this moment for what it is – accept it, forgive the past, take responsibility, and move forward.

-The above was taken from a speech done by Oprah Winfrey

Mums, is there someone you need to forgive in your life?

Or have you forgiven someone in the past in order to move forward?

Share you stories with us below x

 

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83 thoughts on “Forgive Past Hurts

  1. saneh.lembede says:

    Forgiving someone that have wrong you it’s not that easy it’s hard and hurting but holding what’s hurts killes your inner peace and your well-being. So it’s better to forgive and move on with your life .yes you won’t forget about it but if you forgive slowly you will forger about that person who has wrong you

  2. gumsomi says:

    I had so much anger and hate over someone who did me wrong. I would find myself plotting revenge, this was constantly on my mind. I would even have nightmares about them. I realised that it wasn’t serving me any purpose, instead it was weighing me down as I had become spiteful and vindictive. I then decided to pray over it. I slowly let go of the grudge and hate. I took lessons from the situation and moved on. I don’t hate them anymore, instead I wish them well. My life is at peace not to mention my sleep.

  3. meleny.milicent says:

    I choose to forgive everyone who wronged me no matter what. My Dad killed my Mom when I was 2 year old, My Dad’s Family never take care of us “2 brother and 1 Sister” we where all under 10 year old. We where suffering staying with neighbours until my Mom’s Mother took us, but life wasn’t good at all as we had to eat left overs of my grand Children and dress second hand close or close that where rejected from my Grannies children. Doing all house chores like slaves, being reminded about out Monster dad and our fathers useless family. Getting blamed and beaten for things we have never done. But choose to for give them and move on with my life. I am married now and blessed with 2 boys, I still visit my Granny and children, we are a happy family. I have forgive everyone, I have let it Go I am free, Lets forgive and forget!

  4. molebogeng.mas says:

    One of the hardest processes to go through. I really try and I know we are trying and we genuinely want to forgive and let go, but how, when this person continues to be who they choose to be?

    I wish peace on everyone who needs a break, who needs a breather, who needs silence.

  5. mashobanesheila says:

    I used to hate my mom, God 💔😭i was blaming her for protecting and choosing my step father over me. I remember that guy started raping me since i was 5years up until i was 13years,when i was 10years i got really sick i had TB and she didn’t care , i was hospitalized for 6months she didn’t even visit because my step father was telling her not to visit me . After 6months i was still sick and the doctors were confused up until they did HIV testing and i was positive that when my mom started talking saying I’m sleeping around even the step father was pushing her to say all those things , that when i decided to tell my mom to do the test before she get sick , she did and she was also positive because step father infected both of us and i told my mom that we have no relationship together since i told you many times that this guys was sleeping with me by force. I couldn’t forgive her so easily , i was so angry.
    I’ve been struggling to forgive my mom over 20years but in 2020 covid-19 came and showed me that life it too short to hold grudges and not to be at peace. .we have good relationship but we not friends nd i love her . I’ve also forgave my step father even though his not punished it all okay because I’m at peace. Just building my self to succeed and protect my kids.

  6. marilynkamlall113 says:

    Forgiveness….one of the hardest things to do.
    I’ve gone through some brutal stuff in my earlier life, be it childhood or adulthood, married life. I’ve always been able to forgive the little things or look the other way so to speak, but I’ve never been able to forgive a few things. This is really challenging and I feel like I’m holding a few people responsible for the way my life turned out…don’t get me wrong I’m grateful for what I have but there’s a part of me that’s not satisfied…I’m trying hard to change this for our next generation with my kids, nieces and nephews but I feel there’s blockers all around.
    I’m working on the forgiveness part and I’ll keep mumbox updated…🙏
    #thanksforlistening
    #mumbox

  7. tinyikomboweni3 says:

    It is really important to forgive, cause it helps you move on with life. I had someone who hurt me in the past and I couldn’t stand the way I felt immediately when we where together in the room. It was so toxic just for the mood change immediately when I sèe here. It was literally not nice at all cause it was like my mood was changing when I see here. So I had to let go and change force myself to forgive her even before she asked for forgiveness. I had to do it for myself realised that my mood doesn’t depend on a person it was not a good feeling at all,I had to let go and move on. Until karma took its cause after good 12 years good years. It was then I’ve realized that I could have been unhappy myself for 12 good years everytime I saw her face or hear this persons voice. So I had to let go for my own happiness and believe me when I say it was not and easy one but it wad worth it cause I had to free myself from anger and choose to be happy 💃💃💃💘

  8. siphe.boyce says:

    My biggest struggle but little by little I’m learning to let go and free myself from the burden but in all that I also wish people can give us the space to heal without them determining how long should it take to reach a place of complete forgiveness. Though it differs with the intensity of hurt or betrayal but it truly is a journey. 😏

  9. Fifi says:

    I was feeling drained and exhausted from the energy I invested into rewinding to the resentment but after reading this article I’m encouraged. I read it thrice, it’s therapeutic.

  10. mandi.khuzwayo says:

    This touched my heart 😪 sometimes we don’t realise how much damage we actually do to ourselves by holding on to the hurt, when there’s so much peace that comes with accepting, forgiveness and letting go.

  11. elizalyciousat74 says:

    I have been through the most in my life. If I were to begin to tell my story it’ll take forever,but, I have learned to forgive and set myself free about 4 years ago when I was expecting my son whilst I was living in the dark, trapped in my sorrows while the ones responsible for my agony were living their lives to the fullest ! It took me 12 years ,12 years I said to finally free myself from the chains that were binding me. Those years were “the” most darkest days of my life!filled with range and resentment ,I was angry at myself ,at them,at the world and even at God but I never stopped praying for strength and wisdom then I finally found peace and was able to let go which gave birth to forgiveness and I have been free since then.

  12. Elishia says:

    This is so true.. To let go and exhale.. To forgive, doesn’t mean to forget. Take control of what’s holding you back. My hurt turned into anger because I was so angry with my dad (may he RIP), for a few things after he passed and before he did. It’s even harder to forgive someone that isn’t around, that didn’t ask for forgiveness either. It took me over a year to let go and forgive him, but I felt amazing after. You don’t forgive for that person, you forgive for yourself.

  13. stiesiehartzenberg1 says:

    I have forgiven my my step mom for something she did and it really helped me along the way as time goes on, it’s like the whole world has changed,you feel relieved and positive the way you look at things.

  14. fortuin705 says:

    This is so powerful and made me realise a lot.I am also dealing with grudges and can’t seem to forgive the person that hurt me surely it will take time but I’m slowly getting there and after reading this article it gave me new insight moving forward

  15. Landiwe says:

    Forgiveness is never easy to ask for because you always have this thing you always angry it’s pitiful bt the only way to free ur self from holding grudges

  16. sindicele17 says:

    I pray every day for a forgiving heart. Forgive our trespassing as we forgive those who trespass against us. I don’t want to die with a heavy heart, as long as I live I’m for joy peace and happiness, it’s all that ineed peace. What a moving topic ❤️❤️❤️✌️✌️✌️✌️✅✅✅✅

  17. shannvh93-6329 says:

    Forgiving past hurts are so difficult. I need to forgive my mother for the hurt her she caused by allowing her husband to ruin my childhood. I’ve tried for many years, I’ve blocked it out and has I get older the pain seems to resurface. I don’t want to relive the dark hole that I’ve kept hidden but I feel like it’s consuming me for every second that I spend not allowing myself to forgive her. I keep waiting for an apology that I know will never come.

  18. Rehana says:

    Forgiving is very difficult. But it makes the weight on your heart and shoulders lighter. By forgiving you are healing yourself. Because by carrying hurt and emotional burden around, the only person you are hurting is yourself. Besides life is too short to hold grudges. I would definitely prefer peace.

  19. phindy.rams says:

    I have forgiven my ex husband, he cheated on me and he knew that I know but never apologised for it. For years I regretted marrying him because of the pain, but that union brought me my son and I am stronger and wiser because of it.

  20. Evelicious says:

    Forgiveness is hard but necessary in order for one to move on. Forgiveness can even lead to feelings of understanding, empathy and compassion for the one who hurt you. Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting or excusing the harm done to you or making up with the person who caused the harm. Forgiveness brings a kind of peace that helps you go on with life.

  21. premasendu says:

    One of the best post ever. When you forgive you find inner peace. You feel heavy load is taken off your shoulder. The anger the bitterness will be gone . WHen you forgive you will focus more on important Things. I have been through emotions like that. I went through hell and come back. I have learnt to forgive and move on

  22. Sphesihle Nhleko says:

    This article just hit home😭forgivess is so hard yet mandatory😢I feel like this article is talking to me. My God, I have not been able to forgive. I lie to myself over and over again to a point where I feel nothing and then think I have forgiven. I don’t want to be right anymore, I just want peace. Real peace, not to just smile so that I will look fine. Today I choose to forgive everyone even if they have not begged for my forgiveness. I’m doing this for ME😭my mental health, my heart, my KIDS and my family. I have forgiven a lot of people before and now I need to forgive myself and move forward. The pain I’m feeling as I type this is tremendous, I feel it was directed to me. I appreciate this post.

  23. Zekhethelo Gigaba says:

    I must say,this is very painful as it is very close to home. I had a thing with my sister and for years I’ve been struggling to forgive her until in 2021 I made a decision to find peace and forgiveness in me forgave her without even have to speak or face her..guess what we live so happily and there are no,uncutted ties and I know our parents are happy looking down on us from Heaven and smilling😊

  24. arizona.naicker says:

    I personally have been through emotionally challenging situations where I made my mind up that I was going to cut those toxic family members out of my life and never look back. I did and I felt good for a while however it was unfair to my kids not be able to connect with their paternal grandparents and family. I forgave them and now our relationship is mended.

  25. lexyramagg says:

    Forgive and forget,they say.
    But how??.I hear forgiveness is for me ,not for the other person.When I got pregnant he kinda said the baby was not his,them I miscarriage and he treated me really bad.I left him and worked on the healing process.When I get better he is always in my face.He repulse me ans I can’t seem to forgive him.I blame him for my loss.This happened 3 years ago and it’s so hard to forgive.Hearing his voice takes me back everytime.I just can’t…

  26. molokoaneelizabeth says:

    How can I forgive a person who doesn’t acknowledge her wrong?A person who admits her wrongs. One day I will forgive and forget even though the person never asks for the forgiveness.

  27. noktoola says:

    Forgiving someone who did you wrong intentionally it’s not easy… I really don’t forgive I just tag along but deep down I haven’t forgotten what you did… I can sit and laugh with you…

  28. Rati says:

    When you want to unchain yourself from all the the disappointments, the heartaches and pain. You have to forgive so that you can be free. That’s where your freedom is.

  29. raimishka5 says:

    When you forgive you set two people free, or say they say. In 2016 I became an orphan as I lost both my parent’s and younger sibling in a car accident. At the time of their passing I was living with them. I have an elder brother that is married and was living his own life away from the family home. As soon as my family passed he became sole executor and signed over 80 percent of the home onto his name. He has given me literally a cubicle to live in with my late brother’s pets, myself and my son. I have tried to find it in my heart to forgive him but I cannot do it no matter how much I try. The reason I say that is since he took those actions everything I do does not matter as I cannot turn left ir right. He knew very well my situation yet his greed took over for himself & his family. Our ties are forever broken. One day I hope I can feel something other than contempt for him.

  30. zmzulu says:

    I’m learning to forgive recently gave birth my mother in law said something to my husband that’s just hurtful but she doesn’t know that I know forgiving her it’s so hard but I’m trying my best too 🥹

  31. ncanyane14 says:

    Forgiveness is the best present that a woman can gift herself with. Let’s learn to forgive and cut ties, for if we do not forgive then we giving that person an upper hand over our lives for as long as we still holding grudges.

  32. favourgyllz says:

    Forgiveness is very hardest thing ever and it becomes more hard when one doesn’t ask for your forgiveness yet you know you have wrongly done💔💔

  33. cchude says:

    Forgiveness is very hard to accomplish, but it’s a most in order to move on. My husband recently had a stroke and i was so angry at him because, he saw it coming and did nothing and he contributed with his lifestyle. But how can i still be angry with him knowing fully well that as a medical doctor he cannot speak or use his hand since the stroke, that most be painful for him. I have to forgive and forget in order to be strong for the family and i have to forgive myself also because i blame myself for not fighting more to help him quite. Forgiveness gives you peace

  34. 213ant says:

    I’m unsure as to whether I need to forgive or have forgiven the person in question, All I know is that I don’t want her in my space, even though she is very close. She has so much more than me, but is vindictive and always wants to be the center of attention!

  35. Trudy says:

    Forgiveness is the key to your happiness. I have found that resenting and holding unforgiveness is not a good space to be in. It promotes stagnancy and you then become so miserable and also may forget why you are holding on to the past for so long in the first place. It brings no joy to be in a place of unforgiveness. Today I am set free from all the bitterness and regrets of my past. Move forward, see the light and you will see how much better it is to forgive those that have hurt you.
    I chose to forgive, therefore I am happy!!!

  36. charlenemakgamatha says:

    I grew up with someone in the house abusing me. I had no one to talk to or confide in. I tried to tell my mom but instead she took the sambok and told me that @#$%&^@/£¥ is big and I want to be big that’s why I make up stories. I prayed every day that this person must die. I didn’t pray for food or clothes but for God to remove this person. It took so long and I changed my prayer to me finishing school and leave the house and never look back. Last day of school I left and never went back. I’m grown now and I learned to forgive those that hurt me. All I want is to be a way better mother to my kind and a good wife to my husband. God has forgiveness me for not forcing those that hurt me. Why can’t I do the same.

  37. ramereblessing says:

    This is something that I needed to hear, I need to forgive myself for holding on to the past hurts, I need to let go of all the hurts and focus on the beauty of life. I’m so hard on myself and now I know that what others did to me I don’t have to carry it with me everyday. I choose to let go

  38. tamzynkallis says:

    It is quite hard to tell my story but all i can say is that is hard to let go or forgive when someone hurts you. I have first handed experience. Hasn’t happens one but quite a few Times and all i can say is. Forgive and forget. I have forgiven the persons involved and moved on . i might not have told them i forgive them but in my heart i have made peace. As long as you have peace you will always be happy. Its hard i can tell you but you build up that strength to say to yourself that enough is enough and forgive

  39. bongiwehlathi1322 says:

    I must say that subscribing to #Mumbox has been a blessing in disguise. God knows I needed all that I am getting and more on this platform in this season. I am getting a better woman each day, taking more time to self-introspect. I realized that forgiveness is something that is possessed by strong people, holding on to unforgiveness destroys one inside. I will always choose to be a better than a bitter woman.

  40. hlengiwentshingila3 says:

    This article has made me look into other situations differently. Thank you for this, I’ve learned a lot and I’m willing to let go.

  41. ncubekhensani58 says:

    This really helped me a lot since I was suffering to forgive someone who has raped me long time ago while I was 13 years it pains me a lot even though I was trying hard to let it go but still I couldn’t because that person was staying in my neighborhood. But this article has showed me that I am my own prisoner, so I have to release myself from that prison so I can live freely. Thank you Mumbox really appreciate it 😊

  42. nolwazitshabalala123 says:

    Indeed holding a grudge or not forgiving is like drinking poison and hoping the person who wronged you will die but it hurts and harms only you.,so let’s forgive any forget for our own peace and health sake. Thank you for this article.

  43. Nomatter Changana says:

    A very close relative of mine wronged me in a very bad way in 2018,I waited for an apology from them since then but I never got,I eventually forgave them myself for the sake of my peace and sanity, though sometimes past comes back and hurts me very badly,but I am glad I was able to leave it behind me though it wasn’t easy,

    Forgiveness is not for the person you forgiving,but it’s for yourself to find inner peace ,your inner self to live a pain free life,this was very helpful to me as I am trying to live a peaceful life with no grudges.

  44. silindile.lindie says:

    This is powerful🙌, to me as a person who currently suffers from major depressive disorder and extreme enxiety because of childhood trauma. But I have learn to accept the reality and also the understanding that it was never my fault that all those things happened to me, although it could have been prevented, but it’s okay I am alive and well. It has made me more stronger as a person, although bruised and over protective of my son because of fear…..fear of people in general. Our world has turned in such a hush and inhuman place to live on, but we are here and blessed to be still here!

  45. ramokone.kg says:

    This was really helpful to me, I have a sirious issue with acceptance, letting go n mostly forgiving,now I know better that forgiveness is about me n my well being.

  46. zazakhazamula says:

    Very insightful indeed. I struggle with forgiveness & I believe that total healing from hurt is when one is ready to forgive. Every person’s journey is different that’s why others take longer than others to heal & forgive… #mumbox

  47. carol.tau5 says:

    By forgiving you’re setting your self free. Anger is very heavy and comes at a price. Cost you your inner peace and happiness. Forgive them for you.

  48. mashimzee says:

    This article was really meant for me. Have been bottling with my feelings for so many years. As a child i stayed from 1 relative to another relative, both my parents being still well, healthy and alive but my dad was an alcoholic. But I held so much resentment for my mother mostly and I held so much anger against her. After I read this article, I felt peace and immediately called her and told her I love her.

    Forgiving without the other party apologizing isn’t easy but today I made the 1st step to forgiveness and peace in my heart and life

  49. sheneyjsiazs says:

    Such a powerful and thought provoking read. Forgiveness doesn’t mean you are weak…it sets you free from hurt. Forgiving yourself is harder to do than forgiving someone else because there’s so much self reflection to do but end the end you are doing yourself a great justice.

  50. Rejoice Muza says:

    This article feels like it was made for me. I had a hard upbringing. I was raped by stepdad when I was in grade four and he threatened to kill my mum if I tell. At that stage I knew nothing do I kept quiet. Up u till now I never stood up to tell my mum and I hate that man that forgiving him is very hard. Then I mo Ed on with life to stay with my dad. My step mum was so abusive. I remember this one day so vividly when she hit my brother’s head against the kitchen wall and the wall tile broke. How do you move past that? How do I forgive these people?

    • Tandi mszini says:

      I am so so sorry to hear of this hurt you carry, and the things that other people, in your family, have done to you. It is wrong what they did, no one should ever have to go through the things you went through.
      Forgiveness is not something done in one day. It is a process to heal such hurt and pain. There is no right amount of time to take to forgive each of our own hurts, but for yourself, you have to try, and you just have to start. The one thing that helped me with my past is the saying “IF THEY KNEW BETTER, THEY WOULD DO BETTER’.
      Know in your heart that these people are hurting too, and that is why they hurt others. But if they knew better, they would do better.
      Do you know the story of Maya Angelou? She has something similar and actually fell pregnant with her stepfather’s child after he raped her. She didn’t speak for a few years after that happened.
      But somewhere in between the pain, the anger, the disbelief, and the hurt – she forgave him and what he did to her. Look at all the people in the world who are famous for being kind, and speaking words of love – they ALL went through something bad, to make them who they are today.
      It is a process, but please my dear, at least try for YOU. YOU deserve a happy life, and we can only do this by forgiving.
      Your stepdad took your innocence – BUT he can only take away your power now – if you let him.
      I am sending you so much love, peace, and good energy. And I hope you are now surrounded by people who love and care for you xxx

  51. jsdiphoko says:

    I learned the hard way that not forgiving people only hurt me, it tooj me yrs to forgive but once i did i had so much peace and ivstarted to live my life

  52. morelovem says:

    Thank you Mumbox, l really needed to hear this. Always when l say l will let go, l relive the past. It has brought no good but anger and resentment. This article came at the right time when l’m trying to find myself, forgive those who have wronged me. I feel l can let go now, forgive and live the best out of my live. Life is too short indeed and l need my happiness back. Once again thank you for this extract. 🙏🏾

  53. chanwill4u says:

    Oh how true is this. Not easy to hear sometimes but so true. We or should i say most women tend to keep on to things. We keep score of each and every wrong thing someone has done to us. Its just how we are programmed. Its easy to say forgive but could you do that if you were the 1 in that situation. Fact is it isn’t easy. It takes a very strong person to just forgive. You know sometimes you forgive but don’t forget. And that is what you struggle with deep down. In this 2022 let just try and let go .let it be. You can’t change everyone or understand the WHY and also why some people just hurt you and that’s life. Let take that anger and hurt and show them that they didn’t get the better of you. That they don’t control our emotions. Let’s do it for our own health and piece of mind let do it for ourselves

  54. mathapelomalokap says:

    I have been struggling to forgive for the longest time. After reading this article, I set myself free from past hurts, I fully forgive myself and also the apologies I will never receive for the sake of peace

  55. Nomsa Rivoningo says:

    Oh Yes its been a quite sometime. But what i have masterd during the process was at the end of the day all i had was myself , i have picked my self and i can now talk about it without a tear.

    I’m here Stronger than ever.

  56. eniddekoker says:

    yes in order for anyone to be able to move on you will have to forgive not for the person that wronged you but for yourself.
    Very powerful piece 🙂

  57. sihlanguhonest says:

    16 December 2022 i lost my little sister, they are people who are involved in her death…i am not ready to forgive them, maybe i am not ready to forgive them because i still cant accept that she is gone. She was so young, full of life and loving, forgiving sometimes is not something that happens immediately but its a process and it takes time. Some wounds are much deeper and the very painful but with time they do heal and that is when we will get to let go and forgive.

  58. ennietebogomankge says:

    Forgiving is a big step to your own mental health the sooner you accept the situation the better it be for you to forgive and slowly but surely you might even forget and be at peace, when you’re at peace you’re happy

  59. Andiswa says:

    I really needed to see this, been to therapy and all, I’m praying about it because, sometimes i lose focus on whats happening in the present and get angry for something that God removed me from. Proving myself right isn’t working, it’s been 5years now i really want peace.

  60. Erika says:

    By clinging to old hurts and not forgiving, you are giving your power away and you are not allowing yourself to move forward. You will always stay stuck in the past.