Oct
Articles
Triggers
Why we get triggered, what it looks like, and how to effectively deal with our triggers before they detonate our lives and emotional wellbeing.
A trigger is defined in the dictionary as a ‘small device that detonates a gun or explosive device.’
An emotional trigger is similar, and just as dangerous: it’s a seemingly small action or comment that sets off a much larger, seemingly disproportionately negative response.
Healthline.com defines it like this:
“An emotional trigger is anything — including memories, experiences, or events — that sparks an intense emotional reaction, regardless of your current mood. Knowing what your emotional triggers are (and how to deal with them) is a key component of emotional health.”
Just about everyone has some emotional triggers, though these might look a little different from person to person. Taking some time to honestly reflect on yours is the first step to diffusing them, and dealing with the unresolved trauma behind them.
If you’re interested in doing this, start by asking yourself:
What are the things that I react to with an unusual (disproportionate even) level of emotion?
Here are some common triggers:
- Unfair criticism
- Sudden changes to a plan, feeling blindsided
- Being taken for granted or feeling underestimated
- Not feeling heard
- Feeling misunderstood
- Feeling excluded or ignored
- Being unfairly blamed for something
- Being interrupted
- Feeling overwhelmed or surprised
- Another’s lack of commitment
- Another’s abuse of authority
- Feeling confined, restricted, or controlled
- Any type of conflict
- Rudeness in others
- Feeling taken advantage of
- Being put on the spot for a response
- Another’s irrational triggers!
After you’ve identified your triggers, ask yourself:
What is really beneath my triggers?
What is the underlying memory/trauma/false information I unconsciously believe when I am triggered?
Is there an alternative, healthier response I could have in the future when faced with potential triggers?
This is deep work, mums.
It demands some real-time and reflection. But it is worth it.
Because our triggers’ first target is always our own hearts long before they do damage elsewhere.
And when we better understand our triggers, we can begin to diffuse them — gently, slowly, uncovering the hidden falsehoods and hurts we’ve unconsciously bound to certain memories, actions and reactions.
Along the way, freeing our interior lives, our relationships, and the days ahead from triggers and emotional landmines too.
One of the triggers l have had to deal with for years is feeling underestimated. I have learnt to build my confidence and to know my worth. That helps a lot.
Profound. All I have to do is to do self introspection. I have also learnt that we also have to stop judging other people when they get upset so quickly because you do not know their past experiences. Certain things can trigger them.
Am quite happy to say that i have grown to know and love most of my flaws, faults and therefore triggers – i grew up with such little confidence of my overall self till i realised that all of those flaws make me unique from the next person, therefore its hard for me to get triggered by anything said to or about me – but in saying that we are also human and there are days when things really do hit home, it is very good to have something that is your focus and can help you keep your calm…
Identifying triggers real helps with building relationships. I usually stay stuck at identifying and usually never move forward to dealing with it in a healthy way. These tips will help.
be the bucket full of holes when you fill up a bucket full of wholes and you want to wet your garden the little water that is left in the bucket still helps those around him grows evev he wasnt aware of it despite his flaws so let us be the bucket with hole if people around if nagative open up those hole let it flow through just like the bucket with flaws
So yes, i see there is some triggers I need to work on myself.
Thanks for this article Mumbox.
I will be and do better.
I have identified a few triggers. I will have to reflect and find alternative, healthy responses when faced with the triggers. I am determined to work on myself and make the necessary changes after reading this article.
Seem like the writer was talking to me directly..I’ve identified a lot of my triggers.my hurt has been a victim for a long time…It’s time for a new chapter of my live.I know it will be hard but it’s worth it….Thank for opening my eyes
Ever had this feeling that if you could, u can just run away from your life/situation u dealing with. Lately I have been feeling overwhelmed by a lot of things that I need a break, reading through this article helps me identify other triggers I have and now I know what I need to do to work on them. Thank you
Needed to read this. All I have to do now is identify my triggers.
I have identified many of my triggers in this article. I am trying to work on them and I will look deep into where they come from.