Why Little Kids Means Big Drama

They say dynamite comes in small packages. Nobody knows this better than parents of young children!

While they may be little in size, they’re often BIG on drama.

Sure, we may look back and laugh, but in the parenting trenches, when we’re exhausted ourselves and tired of their antics – what can be done?

Well, the first step is to understand the why behind the whines… why do little kids tend to make such a big fuss?

When your child shouts out in anger, throws things they shouldn’t, or has a real meltdown when they don’t get their way—they need to be corrected, but if you do so without understanding why they’re acting up, your correction will be far less effective in the long-term.

So why do little kids misbehave? There are 2 major reasons…

1. They’re immature!

Babies are born completely self-centered! It takes time to learn to act well, obey, have manners, control one’s emotions and treat others well.

In fact, the amygdala in our brains (the part that allows us to have control over our emotions) is only fully developed much later. But there’s another reason we often overlook:

2. When our kids feel bad, they act bad.

It’s true of adults too. Think about your own behavior. When do you play up in your own relationships, family, and in your work?

Most likely, it’s when you feel bad. It’s the same with our kids.

Here are 5 of the most common triggers that make kids feel bad…

1. WHEN THEY FACE DISCOMFORT

When our tummy or toothaches, when our blood sugar levels are low when we’re exhausted or hungry or hurt – we grown-ups tend to act poorly. How much more so when we’re little!

2. WHEN THEY’RE RATTLED

Kids tend to behave badly when we break their sleep or food routines or when their lives feel unpredictable. Also, they pick up on when we’re rattled. They’re canaries in a coalmine that way.

3. WHEN THEY’RE ANXIOUS

Little kids need to feel safe. And often, safety isn’t a place, it’s a person. You’re their anchor, the wind in their wings, the sign that the world is a safe place.

When you try to hand them over to a babysitter or a preschool teacher, their world can feel very unsafe. In those instances, it’s not anger or selfishness but very real fear that drives their screaming, kicking, and tears.

4. WHEN THEY’RE FRUSTRATED

Little people often have big plans that don’t go according to plan! Their ideas and desires exceed their abilities daily. And this can lead to an urge amount of pent-up frustration.

As adults, most of us have learnt how to deal with our frustrations, but little kids have not come close to developing that kind of self-control yet.

5. WHEN THEY NEED MORE ATTENTION

Little kids thrive off attention – especially their moms and dads. That’s why, when anyone else seems to ‘steal’ that attention, they feel threatened. It might be a new baby.

Or a sibling that’s receiving more attention. Or the person you’re speaking on the phone to or face-to-face with. In a toddler’s mind, the only fair amount of attention to get is all of it! When they fail to get our positive attention, they’ll resort to negative attention, because in a child’s little brain – any attention is better than none!

What next?

It’s all very well knowing why our kids act up, but how should we then deal with them?

Good news: identifying the why is already half of the how! Not only does it give us tired parents a little boost of patience and compassion for our young, but when we’re able to understand why our kids are causing drama, we’ll have better, more effective strategies for

alleviating the cause behind the drama.

It might be as simple as a snack that’s needed, a nap, or a little extra 1-on-1 time with mom.

Of course, there’s still room for correcting bad behavior, but we should seek to do this only after we’ve identified the triggers behind that behavior.

We’ll write about some really effective ways to correct little kids in an upcoming article soon!

Stay posted and peace-filled moms!