10 Ways to Set Your Teen Up For Life-Long Success

Surprising (yet science-backed) ways to help your teen get ahead in life.

As your kids prepare to join the big world beyond school, it’s understandable you (and they) may feel more than a little daunted…

After all, they’re entering a world experiencing more change and at a faster rate than ever before. They’re part of a generation that’s been largely failed by the education system (if our dismal matric pass rates are anything to go by), and as if that wasn’t enough, sky-rocketing levels of depression and anxiety, record-breaking unemployment stats, and limited job opportunities are enough to make the most confident teen quake in their boots.

Now for some good news: despite all the challenges facing this generation, there are just as many opportunities that await.

Here are ten ways you can help your teen to get ahead in life…

NEVER GET TOO COOL FOR SCHOOL

Showing up and being present shouldn’t end when our kids leave preschool. And while there are fewer and fewer ways to get involved in our kid’s schools as they get older – grab whatever opportunities you can.

While your teen might roll their eyes, it’s a way you can show that you’re invested in them, their world, and their education.

• Model a positive attitude about school. Be aware that if you complain about their school and its ‘arbitrary rules’ or ‘pointless subjects’ – your child will probably do the same. Don’t be surprised then when they fail to show respect and don’t want to work hard.
• Volunteer at your child’s school when you can. Even giving a few hours during the school year can help you feel a little more connected to their school and world.
• Go to Back-to-School Night and Parent-Teacher Meetings. Teens do better in school when parents support their academic efforts. Going to the school’s open house or back-to-school night is a great way to get to know your teen’s teachers and their expectations.
• Put work into their homework. While the load might feel too heavy at times (with all the competing demands on our lives and our teens), make sure your teen is coping and help them to catch up where need be. Reach out to the school as soon as you spot big gaps in their grasping of a certain subject/concept–the sooner they close that gap, the better.
• Take attendance seriously. It’s important that they arrive at school on time every day, other than when they’re really sick of course. Having to catch up can be stressful and interfere with learning.

START THE DAY RIGHT

Send your teen to school ready to learn. In general, teens who eat breakfast have more energy and do better in school. A nutritious breakfast fuels them up and gets them ready for the day.

Help boost your teen’s attention span, concentration, and memory with breakfast foods that are rich in whole grains, fiber, and protein, and low in added sugar. Oats are always a winner. If your teen is running late, send along fresh fruit, nuts, yogurt, or a peanut butter and banana sandwich.

SLEEP!

Teens need about 8–10 hours of sleep each night. But early school start times — on top of their busy schedules, heavy workloads, and their own brains not wanting to switch off as early as before — mean that it’s common for teens to not get enough sleep.

Lack of sleep is linked to decreased attentiveness, decreased short-term memory, inconsistent performance, and delayed response times. You can help by reminding your teen before bedtime to turn off the phone and limit video games and TV. As a general rule: it’s best to ban screens from their bedrooms for a host of reasons.

Napping during the day can also push bedtimes back, so it’s best if teens don’t nap after school. Many teens try to catch up on sleep on weekends. But try to keep your teen’s sleep and wake times within 2 hours of what they are during the week.

STUDY SMART

Learning and mastering the skills of getting organized, staying focused, and seeing work through to the end will help teens in just about everything they do. These are skills you can help them to master.  Creating a calendar will help teens recognize upcoming deadlines and plan their time accordingly.

It also helps teens to make daily to-do lists and to study and do homework in a well-lit, quiet, orderly workspace. Make sure this space is distraction-free (meaning no phone, TV, or websites other than homework-related resources).

Talk with your teen often to go over their workloads and make sure they’re sticking to their study schedule.

STAY CONNECTED

While relationships with friends are increasingly important, your teen still needs their family unit as much as ever (despite their eye rolls to the contrary). While your teen might not be as chatty as they used to be, here’s how to keep communication channels open and available.

Whether they can articulate it or not, they still need to know that their parents are available for support. When they do share with you, try to remain unshockable, non-judgemental, and respect their opinions.

Take their stress seriously too. Read up about how to spot anxiety and depression — and reach out to an administrator or school counselor if necessary.

STAY CURIOUS

Learning shouldn’t end when we finish high school. The most successful people never stop learning. You can start modeling this right away: simply ask more questions. Read widely, and encourage your kids to do the same. Share what you’re learning and unlearning, regularly – about life, people, and the world at large.

Expose your teens to different ideas and realities, and volunteer to serve at a community/church/welfare event. While teens are prone to be self-absorbed, getting them to see and really experience different cultures, people, and challenges is an invaluable life lesson.

There’s also no substitute for good old experience – so encourage your teen to find any and every opportunity to volunteer/intern/work where they can.

Of course, only where it’s legal and safe to do so! Working as a babysitter, volunteering at a charity, office help over the holidays, job shadowing in a career they’re interested in, offering gardening services, or washing cars in the neighborhood for a small fee – it’s all helping them to learn about the real world and how it works.

CELEBRATE THE GOOD

Most teen’s shortcomings are easy to spot and highlight, but focusing on what they’re getting right takes intention and practice. It’s really important though – if want to build healthy, happy connections with our teens. Wherever possible, help them to see themselves in positive, affirming ways.

We can do this most effectively by not just highlighting a positive action (“Thank you for taking out the trash”), but by linking it to a larger identity (“You’re a real team player – thank you for taking out the trash.”). One last tip: pick your battles.

If their room looks like a rubbish tip, but they helped their little brother with homework, let them live in their mess, and yet don’t hold back on letting them know that you appreciate how helpful and kind they are. If they haven’t been very helpful at home, and then do one load of dishes – celebrate that instead of using it as an opportunity to highlight how little they’ve helped in the past.

Highlight the good, and it will grow.

SPOT THE GOLD IN THE GAPS

Help your teens to not overly focus on what’s wrong with the world or their lives, but rather: on what they can do about it. Help them to see themselves as powerful overcomers, not as helpless victims. Just because life isnt perfect, fair, or easy – doesn’t mean it’s not still brimming with good things and great opportunities.

It’s precisely when we desperately need to find a solution, that the best solutions arise. So encourage and foster resourcefulness (the ability to make a plan and problem-solve in non-ideal circumstances), teach resilience (not giving up, but finishing what you start), let your kids fail forward (don’t fear failure – it’s one of life’s best teachers), encourage flexibility (it’s critical to lifelong success).

While the challenges are great, the opportunities are greater. For example: a recent report by the World Economic Forum showed that while machines with AI will replace about 85 million jobs in 2025, about 97 million jobs will be made available in the same year, thanks to AI!

GUARD AGAINST TOO MUCH SCREEN TIME

It’s estimated that most teens are now addicted to screens of some sort. Whether it is gaming, social media, WhatsApp, or pure entertainment: our brains have become accustomed to the dopamine hits that the virtual world provides.

But this chemical high comes at a cost. Just like fast food picks us up and then drops us later, so does the high from our screens.

Not only does it impact teen’s sleep patterns, but excessive social media use has been linked to the soaring rates of teen depression, anxiety, and suicide.

All this to say, don’t just leave your teen to their own devices! Establish clear rules and boundaries, check in regularly with them, make the daily screen-free time a standard practice, and remind your teen that any screens are a privilege, not a right.

STEP ASIDE

Teens need a certain amount of freedom to make mistakes, learn from them, and solve problems independently. As far as is possible, safe and wise to do so—step aside and let your child make some mistakes.

Then allow them to face the natural consequences of their behavior.

Encourage your teen to develop their own solutions to problems or conflicts. Create opportunities for them to use their own judgment, and be available to offer a little advice and support when they need it.

That’s it moms – ten proven ways you can help your teen get ahead in life.

Did you like any tips above and which will you be putting into action with your teen?

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