Nov
I see you, childless stepmom, raising a child, doing all of the mom things for a little one who doesn’t call you Mom.
You love your stepkids like they’re yours, but you wonder what that actually even means, and how it compares. How do you know if you’re loving them the same way?
I feel your isolation, the cold shoulder, or the subtle eye rolls you get from “real” moms when you try to chime in on their silly stories about their kids or frustrations about last night’s meltdown.
I recognize that glint in your eye, the one you have when you want to be part of something but you’re too proud to tell them it hurts.
You know what a struggle the school mornings can be, that family movie nights are the best, and the bedtime is a circus, but they don’t see you as a mom too.
To them, you just don’t get it.
You’re just not part of the #MomLife club.
I hear your worries about whether or not you’re actually equipped to BE a mom in every sense of the word.
You’re a mom in all of the most important ways, but you doubt your ability to be the mom 7 days a week, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.
You’re stressed, sometimes you’re strung out, and let’s be real. You’re not mad on switch days sometimes. You like the break. So how can you handle full-time motherhood, right?
I notice that doubt in your face, that small nagging insecurity.
That little seed of jealousy you feel when you think about the fact that if you have an “ours” baby, the experience is a brand new one for you that your partner has already had with someone else.
You wonder if it will be as special for them.
You wonder how it will compare to those moments they had before.
Sometimes you feel sad to be second.
Often, you wonder how that “ours” baby will dramatically alter the fabric of your existing stepfamily. You’ve worked so hard to strike a harmony among the people you’ve blended your life with, so what happens next?
How does a child shake up the pieces you have painstakingly placed with care where you can, building a life that works in its own special way?
Maybe you aren’t sure you want an “ours” baby.
Maybe your dreams are crushed around the same time everything when the answer is no.
Whatever your hopes and dreams are, and whatever they are not, I see you, and all of your worries and your excitement matter.
To the Childless Stepmom, you’re a woman.
You’re a warrior.
You’re a mother, and you are enough.
(*Thank you to BabblingBlonde for this important blog post)
to the stepmoms out there GOD give you a privilige to be a mother to does that dont have a mother he gave you strenght too carry that child you did not carry for nine months he gave you a big heart too love abuntenly too cherish that child little creature he created love that child endlessly with no boundries all your strenght and love caring your are iIMBOKODO mother of a nation
Thank you for the great article I also feel for the childless step-mom
In a world where people are not so loving, caring and kind. My heart goes out to moms who raise children they didn’t bear with love and care. We see you and appreciate you so much. You are doing great, keep going mamma. And don’t forget to give yourself little rewards and a pat in the back.
Cheers to you stepmoms. You are the best. I was really touched with this because I have a co-worker who is going through this same situation. Hers is a stepdaughter and is a teenager. I want her to read this. Thank you Mumbox.